No Wind But Brass Monkeys

 TUESDAY NIGHT CLUB RIDE 10-03-15 - DISTANCE 53 MILES

From Left To Right: The Missile, Adam, Andy & Kevin.

Tuesday night was looking like a good night to go cycling. The weather had been good all day, sunshine up to 10 degrees and very light or no wind. No wind !! At last no wind.

The forecast into the evening was for a minimum temperature of 5 degrees with light 5 mph winds from the south. Perfect.



It was looking so good I decided it was time to start shedding a few layers.

Through the cold weather I had been cycling with 3 layers on top plus cycling tights on the bottom. I don't wish to go into too much detail about my nether regions but suffice to say I have got more than one layer on the bottom half of me as well. To keep neck and ears warm the ubiquitous ruff and the essential woolly hat to go under the helmet.

So I decided to take one layer off the top and dispense with the woolly hat. Well I didn't want to go mad did I ? I would take the woolly hat with me in a pocket though, just in case. I do like my woolly hat.

The good forecast also produced another big decision from me. In the cold weather I had been driving over to the start in Cottingham from Barton. It was now time to cycle over.

This adds 18 miles on to whatever ride I do with the club so a significant amount. To make sure I don't overdo it this 18 miles must be done at slow pace.

THE RIDE OVER TO THE MEET POINT

View From A Bridge

I had arranged to meet Adam in Hessle on the way over. That would be nice, as long as we didn't go too fast I said. I didn't want to overdo it did I ?
 
I rode over the bridge as the sun was beginning to set. The bridge and the view from it were looking beautiful. The line of cars and lorries queuing, not so much, but it was a really nice evening.

The Bridge As The Sun Goes Down

I met up with Adam on the other side of the bridge and we set off to Cottingham. Going through Willerby Square the road goes down into a dip and then there is a steep rise up for a 100 yards or so. Adam gave it the beans going up this hill dragging me along with him. Tetchily I pointed out that a heart rate of nearly 180 wasn't my definition of a slow ride to the start.

"It's just a warm up" he said. Translation :-  " Shut The F * * * Up ! ".

As we rolled down We got talking about bike mechanical stuff. There was an annoying ticking sound coming from somewhere on my bike. The frequency matched wheel rpm. I had no idea where it was coming from.

Adam gave a number of helpful suggestions to which I replied " I dunno mate I just pedal em till they break" . Bike mechanics definately not my strong point.

 THE MEET POINT

 

And so to Cottingham and the meet point outside the Olive Gardens. As well as myself and Adam we had Mike, Andy, Kevin and at the last minute June arrived.

June arrived after I'd taken the group photo and I toyed with the idea of taking another one. But then there would be tantrums and calls for make-up, hair and stylist etc. And that would be just from the guys. So I decided against it.

Left To Right : Andy & Me

Two of our number, Andy and Kevin, had gone for shorts.

They are indeed hardy individuals. As newborns they were left out on the wolds overnight and having survived they were brought up to bare their legs at extremely low temperatures.

Kevin though had made the faux pas of being photographed not astride his bike. That's strike one Kevin.

Kevin took the shot opposite where you will see that once again I have been photographed without my machine. Surely an offence that should see me banned if it happens again.

One of the guys in this photo has made the correct choice of clothing for the conditions. The other has not but is extremely comfortable with his sexuality.

I will leave it to you to decide which one is which.

THE ROUTE

 

With the daylight fading we covered the early miles taking us through Willerby,  Kirk Ella, West Ella and up to Swanland.

June had a disagreement with Adam about the difference between straight on and right at the Willerby Square roundabout.

"That's not straight on that's right isn't it Alan ? " said June trying to recruit me to her cause.

" Well I can see both sides of the argument " I said sitting firmly on the fence.

"Really !? " said June. Translation :-   " Shut The F * * *  Up ! "

We left Swanland via the steep descent of Mill Road, turning right at the bottom and then after a few hundred yards left onto Stonepit Road. This road provides a cut through to Elloughton Dale. The road is private and my ride colleagues assured me the farmer was relaxed about cyclists using it.

Once we left the initial tree lined section of this road we were in the open and with the complete absence of street lighting and buildings we could appreciate for the first time the crystal clear night sky and the display being put on by the stars and the moon.

Stop After Stonepit Road

The road had a steady climb up to the farm followed by a dip and a rise up to the public road that goes down to Kidd Lane at Welton.

There was a little stop at this junction. The guys (and girl) had a discussion about brakes. I didn't join in.

Then we moved off and followed a familiar path to Elloughton, past The Hull Ionians Rugby Club, up the road that runs parallel to the A63 and then inevitably like a magnet to the bottom of Brantingham Dale.

BRANTINGHAM DALE ANOTHER RECORD ATTEMPT

I tagged along with Mike on the lower and middle slopes. We were setting a very good pace, for me anyway.

When we got to the steeper section I knew there was no way I would stick with Mike but the longer I held in there before hearing the twang of that elastic band the better. When I started to fade Mike held back and shouted some encouragement to me.

"Come on, keep going ! "

For a brief moment I was transported to the final climb of stage 17 of the 2012 Tour De France. Chris Froome exhorting and gesticulating to Bradley Wiggins to keep up as they neared the summit.

Then all of a sudden I was back on Brantingham Dale. Twang !! Mike was holding up his end of the bargain being Chris Froome.  However, apart from the dodgy clothes, as far as being Bradley Wiggins was concerned I was a complete  imposter.

Mike was gone now and I was on my own to tack my way up the steep bit. I got up to the crest of the hill and then went up a few gears as there is a slight downhill run to the end of the climb. When I got to the top I wasn't sure if I had got a Personal Record. I would have to wait until I uploaded to Strava later on to see how I'd done.

I was 9 seconds off my best for the full climb.

The funny thing is that when I did my PR on this full climb I did it on New Years Day this year ( so after a few drinks) I did it on my old Trek and I did it on my own. My old Trek was possibly the worst maintained bike of all time. For every watt of energy put in by me about 20 % must have been used to overcome the massive frictional and other mechanical losses in the drive train and moving parts.

So there you go Alan's top tip, have a few drinks and use knackered equipment.

As we all gathered at the top to recover, Andy asked if I felt I'd done it or not before adding helpfully

"Do you know I find it a lot easier going the other way".


YOU CAN SEE  OUR HOUSE FLAMBOROUGH HEAD LIGHT HOUSE FROM HERE !

 
At the top of Brantingham Dale we made our way over to the top of Trundlegate via Comberdale Hill. On the way Mike said to me

" If you look over there Alan you can see the Flamborough Head Lighthouse on the horizon. You can put that in your blog ! "

There was indeed a flashing light on the horizon, so it's in Mike OK ?

DO YOU NOT THINK IT'S GETTING A BIT NIPPY ?

Are You Cold ? I'm Cold.

We had decided to descend Trundlegate slowly. As we went down it dawned on me that I was cold. Not just a lttle bit but a lot. The sky remained clear and the stars were still putting on a show. The forecast had definately said it would be a 5 degree minimum. But this wasn't 5 degrees.

I wanted to stop and put my woolly hat on plus put my rain jacket to get another layer. Adam spoke up first though and asked for a stop in North Newbald to put his gilet on. Wimp.

So we stopped by the pub in North Newbald and I donned the woolly hat and my rain jacket.

Coming out of North Newbald we went up the long steady climb of Beverley Road and Walkington Heads. Mike gradually ratcheted up the pace and went clear and then we all came back together again at the top.

Adam was reading the temperature from his Garmin and said that coming out of North Newbald it had read zero and gone to -2 up Walkington Heads. My forehead was actually hurting as being very nearly the only exposed bit of skin that I had.

Heaven only knows what Andy and Kevin were experiencing as they pedaled along in their shorts. They certainly didn't complain. I think I would have stayed in the pub at North Newbald and called for a taxi.

As we went down the hill to Little Weighton something told me that Andy was now feeling the cold. It could've been something to do with the fact that he rode along with no hands on the bars and his arms crossed with his hands under his armpits. In fact he rode along like this for some considerable time.

At one point I thought he was going to take the sharp left and right turns at the bottom of the hill with no hands but reluctantly he put them back on the bars to take the corners.

THE END OF THE RIDE AND THE LAST BIT BACK TO BARTON 

 

We had a regroupment at the T junction in Little Weighton.  Everyone was breathing hard with the cold making it visible like a pack of forwards about to scrum down in the middle of December. 

Andy offered to give me a lift home from Cottingham if I wanted which was much appreciated. Totally out of character I declined the easy option as I was looking at a 50 mile ride if I pedaled it back to Barton.

Up the hill out of Little Weighton and down into Skidby. Andy raced off for the 30 mph sign sprint followed by Adam.

We came together again in Skidby and then rolled down the hill into Cottingham for the official end to the Cottingham Road Club Tuesday night ride.

Andy turned off into his house and the rest of us headed off in the general direction of the Humber Bridge. Firstly June peeled off, then Mike, then Adam and finally Kevin leaving me alone to cross the bridge in the dead of night. Quite spooky.

When I got home Annette was watching one of her favorite TV programmes.

"Is that you ?" she said as I came in the house.

 "Yes love it's me"

"How was your ride?" 

"It started off sunny, then it got really really cold, we went up branny, I saw flamborough lighthouse, Andy went half a mile with no hands....."

"Very good dear" She said turning back to her programme.  Translation ..... 

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